Quarter Turkish

Written 2020

I’m quarter Turkish but I went to Eton. There is something strange about being a quarter something. You go to the country and it’s like going home, even though, in truth I’m as English as tea. I always knew my grandad was different. He never became 100% English really. I guess the influence rubbed off. And of course, Eton. All these made me what I am.

Grandad did well. He was a fighter pilot in the second world war and after became a farmer. Of course daddy went on to be a step up the ladder. Always pass on your wealth! It’s not as if grandad came here as a poor man. I forget what dad did, but he ended up in government somehow. There was lots of conservation awards too. He wasn’t around that much, just mother and the nannies.

Oh I went to all the posh schools, bloody murder it was. Miserable childhood. We were moved all about, London, Europe, and back, then boarding school. Rugby, Greek, Latin, very useful education. Mother and father separated and my sister and brother went to live with her.

Then Eton, then Oxford. A good place to learn to be 100% English. We all know those places are not about work but who you get to know. And I got to know very useful people to me. It helps when one is a likeable fellow. I have the gift of the gab, I don’t need to work too hard. Then the gap year. Back to Oxford. Did a lot of newspapers there.

Of course it wasn’t hard to get into journalism with my likability, breeding and contacts. A good place to build one’s political belief system.

One builds up the reputation and politics was an easy entry. There is nothing like the feeling of power. I like building things, well, getting others to build things for me. Especially if it can have my name on it.

And there we have it. It’s easy to get power. And I like tea and crumpets. Aston Martins. Drinking. But one can get into a few scrapes there.

One day I hope to be PM. Rise up through parliament. Get the good positions. Gain authority. Nothing can stop me. I’m likeable and I know how to play it. Everybody will think I’m nice and cuddly. Oh, and I’ll get married, make the offspring, keep it all in the family.

I have great plans, I have great plans.

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